Monthly Archives: August 2012

In the Company of Misery – AKA What did you do on your Tuesday Night?

I’ve done a really good job of weeding out the “drama,” in my life. i.e. Getting rid of people that just love to live in their own misery. There’s a few “hanger on’s,” but I’m very conscious of eliminating myself from whatever conversation or bitchfest they’ve got going on. Basically I’m down to one couple, but because of who they are relative to me & I’m stuck with them…for now. 

 
…that was until tonight. 
 
Tonight I met for Happy Hour with a gal I know from my neighborhood. I’ve met her a few times at various parties & know her from the local cafe. It was one of those “we should meet for drinks,” kinda things & she actually took me up on the offer. Jeez, don’t you know that’s just something you say to be nice. Yesterday I got cornered & figured – why not. How bad can it be? 
 
People, if you’re in a shitty place – lock the doors, eat some Haggen Dass & wait it out. Believe me, you’ll be happy you did. Don’t go looking for new friends & definitely don’t DATE! I learned THAT lesson a long time ago when I was learning a new job, hated my boss and decided it was a good idea to go out on a blind date. No wonder he never called me back. 
 
Anyway, back to Happy Hour. You know how you go on a date & your date just talks about them self, never really asking questions about you or your life? Yeah, same thing just chicks involved. Ok – maybe she asked a few questions but 90% was talking about her ex, her financial situation & a string of – what did she say? – oh yeah, “bootie-calls.” 
 
It was pretty obvious she didn’t want a new friend or else it would have been more a 50/50 conversation. Sharing laughs & funny stories. Instead she wanted an audience. Someone to share in her drama while checking her iPhone for messages. 
 
When things suck, it’s hard to crawl out. I get that, I’ve BEEN THAT! But some people just love to be the martyr. 
 
As I get older I’m very conscious of keeping my “misery,” to a minimum. Not that you should be in a “happy place,” all the time. That’s just bullshit. But to know who your trusted friends are & who you can openly talk about your fears & concerns. When you need to shut-it & when you need to seek out real counselling…
 
…and when you need to quit being a savior. 
 
-Kate  
 
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(freedigitalphotos.net)

Your Pheromones make me nuts!

I’ve got a thing about smells. Something’s jacked up in my sinuses that has given me a hyper sense of smell ever since I could remember. Which makes it a blessing & a curse. Blessing when I walk into a bakery or Pizzeria in Italy and curse when I walk into a smelly locker room.

People smells are something that have gotten worse in the last few years, which has really put a damper on my dating life. I’m not a cologne kinda gal. It gives me a sore throat within minutes. I like my men fresh & clean from the shower.

The “smell thing,” was big a few years ago when I dated two men back-to-back. First came “Crazy Johnny.” John was in finances, I’m convinced bi-polar, and a total…hmmm – what’s a good word for him? Not asshole – he was more of a “prick.” Although handsome, he totally wasn’t my type. Short, cocky & in much need of a “mute,” switch. The guy was hilarious – I do give him that. His bizarre behavior was that of hit sitcoms.

On our first date I was already planning my escape, 10 min. in. But then we went outside to appease the “nicotine gods” & next thing I know, he make’s his move. WOW – I haven’t had a good make-out like that in YEARS! Hand holding head, soft lips & just the right of shiver down my spine. And his smell…

What the right pheromones will make a girl do. He would just kiss my forehead & it would make me want to “pass-out.” Tingles of joy & excitement sparked by a single peck. Of course he would say something “pricky,” 5 min. later & whitewash that dreamy feeling, but I didn’t care. I was addicted & pheromones were my crack.

What came next was a realization how people mistake “pheromones,” for love. When I was with him I was like, “Wow – I could totally tell this guy I love him,” but I was fully conscious that I didn’t & it this was all biological. There was no love there. How could there be? We argued all the time. Like teenage lover’s after the basketball game. No there was just pheromones & addiction. At 38 years old I realized, this is the stuff that turns into what I call “crazy love.” I had to break the addiction.

Luckily it ended as quickly as it started & I was actually saved by a “true prince charming.” A man who was probably one of the best boyfriend’s I’ve had in recent years. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the right “pheromones,” and what came after was a lesson in what happens when you can’t make-up your mind about what you want in a relationship….but that’s a story for another day 😉

 

-Kate

(freedigitalphotos.net)


Glee Ruined the 80’s aka No more 80’s Themed Parties Please!

Now I liked Glee when it first came out. How could you not. The combination of genius Ryan Murphy & brilliant casting of Jane Lynch made it refreshing, hilarious & wonderful. But by season 2, I think most of us were over it. At least I was. Instead of enjoyment & reminiscing to songs from Journey & The Pretenders, I started, “not believing,” I’d ever love those songs again.

Which brings me to “80’s Themed Parties.” Nobody loved the 80’s more than I did. I was at the top of my game. High School, popular, happy & still able to scarf down 2 or more Big Mac’s while maintaining an anorexic’s dream weight (no hurling needed). But by my senior year I was more than happy to let go & move on with my life. The 90’s were here & grunge was in. I traded in my neon for flannel, cut-off baggy 501’s over tights & Combat Boots. No more need to primp all day just throw on some grungy clothes and I was ready.  All to the soundtrack of Soundgarden, L7 & 7 year Bitch. Matter-of-fact, Cameron Crowe and the movie, “Singles,” summed it up best.  I was Bridget Fonda, chasing the wrong guys, waiting for them to call, all while thinking I was an old maid at 23.

But no sooner had I left the 80’s, that I started getting invites to “80’s themed parties & it hasn’t stopped. There isn’t a month that goes by that there’s not an “80’s BBQ or Roller Skating Party.” What shall I pull out of my hat this time? Madonna inspired or perhaps I’ll be a “Prep” this time & rock the pastel Izod & boat shoes? I’m running out of ideas. Plus it took a long time to get ready in the 80’s. Did I really spend an hour or more on make-up & hair back then? It takes a while to tease those bangs right.

But my fellow “Gen Xer’s,” just don’t want to give it up. I’ve had 20 years of 80’s themed parties. It’s time to AT LEAST move on to the 90’s. Plus I’d like to bust out my velvet baby doll dresses & some Doc Martens….maybe listen to some “Thowing Muses.”

-Kate

 

(photo: from the movie Singles on theuncool.com )


Comments Crack Me Up!

I’ve got a mole on my arm that has a red ring around it. I wasn’t to freaked because it doesn’t have the jagged edge or any of those suspicious things, but wanted to “google” it just to make sure. I put in:

“raised mole with red ring”

I found on Yahoo answers the question, “I have a mole on my chest with a red ring it. Should I ask the doctor or let it be? 

The first answer was very helpful. “Usually it’s not indicative on anything serious….yada yada yada – but you might want to check it out.” Then lots of links to medical sites.

The second one had me rolling.

“Is it a nipple?” 

The the third

“Oh yeah, that’s your nipple. You should have one on the other side.” 

Some of the best comedy I’ve seen in years has been these one liners you see on websites in the comments section. YouTube is notorious. I always picture some bored, smart-ass, teenager sitting in his electronic command center (usually in the basement of his mother’s house), just waiting to unleash his comic genius. One line of pure brilliance.

Now I’m not talking about “trolls,” who just look to bash on everything out there. Or people who are just down right mean. My favorite has to be the “movie review snob,” who just likes to see themselves write. It’s like, “Come on dude – it’s Independence Day. It’s not meant to be an Oscar winner.”

I’m talking about that “smart-ass,” at the party, who walks in, just at the right time and breaks up a boring conversation with a witty one liner. They have this wonderful ability to shift energy in the room. My favorites are those people that plan sneak attacks, drop their bomb & off they go – all mysterious like.

So here’s to you, “Smart-ass Comments Dude (Dude’et)!” You crack me up & make me smile but most of all – you make my day 🙂

freedigitalphotos.net


This was my day today…

– Kate

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(photo: freedigitalphotos.net)


What to do when your stuck in the middle and have Crappy Insurance?

It is with heavy heart & tears in my eyes that I write this post. I wanted this blog to be funny little snippets of my life. Nothing to heavy. Nor did I want it to be a bitch-fest for first-world-problems (wait – isn’t that most blogs). But life seems to throw you a curve ball when you least expect it.

Up until the end of January 2009, I took my health insurance for granted. I had always worked for corporations and was covered. But that January I was one of the casualties, like so many others, of the economic crisis & was laid-off from a job I loved dearly. Myself & hundreds of others from my company were given our severance packages & sent on our way. I seriously feel like I’ve been in a panic ever since.

The severance package was quickly gone replacing all electronics that were previously provided by my former employer, paying off debts and still paying the rent & all the bills with unemployment checks that were half of my salary. Oh, and with the stock market crashing, my 401k was virtually none existent.

I didn’t know where I was going to find a job at my salary or benefits. I had worked hard to get where I was AND had never “not” had a job since my first one, as a paper girl in the 5th grade. But finally at the end of 2009, and down to my last dollars, I got a new gig…with a small company that doesn’t offer health insurance.

“That’s fine – I’ve been paying for my own for the last 9 months,” I thought. But you realize quickly the difference between a $250 deductible & a $3000 deductible. And all it takes is one trip to the emergency room to put you in dire straights. Or one mammogram & biopsy, as were both my cases.

The emergency room was last year. I had never been to one, EVER, but last summer I got suddendly ill (like it came on in minutes) that had me uncontrollably vomiting & unable to stop. At the point that I was foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog,  I finally called my old housemate, who’s husband rushed me to the emergency room. Twelve hours, 2 IV’s, a diagnosis of “well it could be virus,” and $3000 later, I was sent home & on my way. I didn’t qualify for assistance – I make to much money they said (I guess you need to be at poverty level), so I went on a payment plan, which I’m still paying on.

Fast forward to last month. Regular mammogram – found a lump – wasn’t alarmed since I’ve had them before – but they wanted to ultrasound & biopsy. “Sure, have at it,” I said.

I got one of the insurance bills last week. It was around $450 after their “discounts.” I wasn’t happy but I could live with it. I got a bill on Monday from the hospital of charges they’re sending my insurance….$4100! Really? To shove a needle in my boob? The $450 was just the doctor part..I have not idea where I’ll be at the end of this.

When you buy your own health insurance, your not really buying insurance – you’re buying a discount. And a shitty one at that.They may pay 100% after your deductible (ridiculously high), but it’s 100% of what they “think” they should pay – not what’s being billed. And what they “think” is usually nowhere near what you’re billed.

Now this isn’t a rant about whether or not we should have socialized healthcare in the country, because let me tell you, I’ve traveled abroad & that system’s got it’s issues too. But there is something seriously jacked-up when it comes to your doctor’s bill & your insurance and they start playing “Let’s Make a Deal,”    and your left with the pieces.

Crap! But what to do? You have to have it or at least I do, because I’m a “cover my ass,” kinda gal…and right now I feel like they have me by mine. At least the “girls” (boobs) are fine.

-Kate

P.S. I’ll be back to my normal self tomorrow…oh – did I tell you I need a root canal?

(photo: freedigitalphotos.net)


The Kindness of Strangers via Twitter

Today in my timeline I saw that it was Nick’s birthday, so I sent him a quick, “Happy Birthday Nick! Have a fantastic day 🙂  I also sent him a quick “tweet.” …I’ve never met Nick.

I can’t remember the details of how I found Nick on Twitter (or maybe he found me?). I think it had to do with his movie that was making the festival rounds (now – I’ve never seen his movie either), but I instantly liked him just from his “tweets.” He just seemed like a nice guy, plus I’m a bleeding heart for anyone starting out in the business (film/television/media). Young, eager & not yet jaded.

I would occasionally ask how his film was going and offer “tweets,” of encouragement. He would always “tweet,” back. No long conversations (well that’s a bit tough with a 140 character limit) just checking in – making sure everything’s going well.

I have 3 “Twitter Friends,” that I share this M.O. with. Matt, Sammy & Nick. Matt makes YouTube videos, Sammy (I think?) works in a  cosmetic shop in London & Nick makes films. We don’t “really” know each other. We only see snippets of each other’s lives, through filtered “tweets,” on the internet. But oddly enough, these 3 have shown up & checked in when most needed.

“Haven’t seen your tweets in a while – hope you’re doing well.” “How ya doin’ Luv?” – that would be the Brit, she’s very sweet – “Miss your tweets, Luv!” It’s interesting how one line from a stranger can make you feel instantly awesome. Why? Because someone you barely know, thinks enough about you to check-in & say Hi. And that makes you feel wonderful. Hell, I have people on my “FB,” page who I haven’t said a peep since the day I added them to my “Friends List,” and I’ve actually had dinner’s, relationship’s, etc with them.

I haven’t tweeted much lately. Mostly because I have a crap phone, who’s memory card is full with games, puzzle’s & other toddler apps for my adorable niece, who’s crazy smart & a tech genius at the old age of 2. But I do make a point to log-in to my account every once in a while to check in with Matt, Sammy & Nick.

…and sometimes even wish them a Happy Birthday.


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