Monthly Archives: October 2012

Half-Ass Halloween

I love Halloween. Ever since I was a little kid it’s been my favorite Holiday. Mothers use to basically just wait for the “herd,” to stop by and then just gently throw us into the mob of neighbor kids. There we were, begging for diabetes with someone’s 13 year old brother as our chaperon. Ahhh – the 70’s.

I trick-or-treated right up until my senior year in high school. But as a teenager it was more about the “trick” rather than the “treat,” basically dressing up in unrecognizable costumes & pranking ex-boyfriends. Giggling girls running off with our loot as shouts of, “Who are you? & my you’re quite tall!” followed us. Good times – good times.

Halloween has changed in the last few decades. No more throwing your kids to the crowd & trick-or-treating until well past bedtime. Now it’s malls and busing kids into posh hood’s because they give out “full size Snickers Bars.”

But let’s face it – Halloween really isn’t about the kids anymore – not really. It’s all about us. When else can you get loaded, look like a Hooker or a really bad Drag Queen & not be judged. I myself have already slayed 2 functions last night & have a 3rd, 4th & 5th tonight. Good luck hitting all those Kate.

Usually I get quite creative with my costumes.This year I’m kinda half-assing it. Last nights theme was “God’s & Goddesses,” and I got as far as the flowers in my hair. Knowing there was 90% chance that the “bedsheet,” I’d purchased would probably come flying off during a “cha cha,” (it was a ballroom dance party), the costume turned into a “wood nymph’ish, hippie-goddess,” kinda thing. Tonight 50’s is the theme. If I ever get off this post, we’ll see how far I get with that costume.

Isn’t it weird how things change. If you would have “ever,” told me my mom & dad were attending a Halloween Party (especially dressed as a “sexy whatever!) it would’ve freaked me out…

…now – it’s like stealing candy from kids 🙂

– Kate

Have a fun & safe Halloween!


Do you ever look at your iTunes Account & think…Damn – I could be rich!

Every now & then I’ll go through my iTunes Account & organize my music. Well – sort of. When you have over 100 gb of music, movies & podcasts – it can be a bit tedious. But I’m always amazed & how much music I’ve purchased over the years…and that’s only on this computer.

Ahhh – iTunes – what a wonderful invention. You’re just one click away from all your favorite music. “Hey, I just heard a groovy tune on, “Teen Wolf,” (don’t judge!). I’ll look that up real quick because someone, somewhere has already posted on a blog in Sweden, the name & group – Wahh- La! Instant dance party in your living room.

I love it! And kinda hate it at the same time. One for taking my hard earned cash but really for taking my memory!

Gone are the days when I remembered a bands name & favorite songs. Friends ask me all the time about music because I use to be a “music whore.” Always searching for new music, going to concerts, etc. Scavenging record store after record store for some British Pop Synth Band that had one hit in ’83 that was only played in a Birmingham Disco.

Now I just say, “Yep, that’s a good tune. Got it on my iPod somewhere.” Because now, it’s just so easy.

Hear it – look it up – download – done! 

I may listen over & over, then the information will stick…most of the time, but more times then not, I’ll get sick of my playlist – explore the rest of what my gigabytes have to offer & realize, “Oh yeah – already bought that song. Forgot about that one.”

Still absolutely love music & the new music out today is better than ever…I just can’t remember what’s the name of that band 😉

– Kate

Chaos, Kids & a Fun Plex

I watched my sister slowly loose her patience this weekend at my nephew’s 7th Birthday Party. Ahhh, Fun Plexes – they’re like an arcade on steroids guaranteed to induce A.D.D in even to most docile of children.

We’ve been doing this ritual since my nephew’s first birthday – taking a break during year 5 & 6, when a “Dinosaur Theme Party” ruled instead & children left with gift bags. BTW – when did kids start getting “swag,” for attending parties? Damn, I missed that trend.

Bouncy houses, bowling balls,video games, go-karts & madness. You’re carted into what I think, was a restaurant & made to scarf down either cheese or pepperoni pizza (’cause kids don’t like no funky stuff on their Italian pie), all before the next “cattle car,” comes in.

Funny how all the dads showed up to chaperon their, “mini-me’s,” instead of the moms. But what dad would miss out on this? It’s like “mini-Vegas.”

It was tons of fun to see all the kids loosing their minds…and my sister too (thank God my bro-law is even keeled). See I’m “the aunt,” so these places don’t get to me because I get to hand them back to their parents once the meltdown begins and still keep all my “street cred,” in their eyes.

Oh the wonders of parents, kids & fun plexes.

Now if it was a Chuck-e-Cheese, I probably would have a different story to tell…






I miss those Old Broads at the Polls

I received my ballot yesterday and I have to tell you –  there’s something that kinda blows about mail-in ballots. 

A couple of years ago, our state went to mail-in ballots & an experience I use to look forward to & love, now is like a lot of things – disconnected from the people & community.

Gone are the days rushing home from work & being “cattled” together at some old school (you where convinced was previously condemned) & some “old broad,” bitching at you because you’re in the wrong district line. No more waiting your turn to walk into an unstable aluminum box that kinda sheltered what you would hope to be the best “magic spell casting,” EVER for a better future.

I loved those elderly ladies & gentlemen. They took their job, “very seriously.”  

They tolerated no horseplay or nonsense. You were there to VOTE, not attend a cotillion.  They kept everyone in line & kept the process flowing. And you respected them & their position.

They were a generation that looked at this process as their duty as an American Citizen & did so with honor.

So to all those, “Old Broads,” that use to scream at me to “sign here,” before I was ushered off to my “spell casting,” booth – “I miss you & I hope you’re having a Mai-tai on a tropical island somewhere, enjoying your day off.” 

…and that THIS American Citizen honors & acknowledges what you did for your country.


Thrift Store

I’ve always loved vintage clothing. Long before Mad Men was popular my little sister & I were hitting up local Goodwill’s & Value Villages looking for some “old ladies,” discarded hand-knitted sweater or fur coat.

As I got older, my job positions had me sporting a more tailored look. And because I was in retail & merchandising – I got a lot of free clothing.  But it’s been over 3 years now since I left that world & entered a new profession. One where I’m in an office all day, sitting at a computer.

…and then I got fat. Well – fatter. I’m still within BMI, but just barely. And all those beautiful clothes no longer fit. Coming from a world where I use to get stuff for free or at most – cost, I was damned if I was going to pay full price for anything.

So back I went to the “thrift store.”  Mostly on a hunt for jeans. And what jeans I found. Seems all the “leisure housewives,” in my hood, happen to like to give their $300 jeans to the Goodwill up the street & that particular store never has a clue of the treasure they have because they always seem to be priced around…ohhh – $12.99.

…and where that secret booty lies – I’ll never tell 😉

– Kate


Macklamore & Ryan Lewis are currently on on Tour.  You don’t want to miss it!

Arrested Development & that Little Girl Voice

A friend of mine introduced me to his new girlfriend, who I guess is his old girlfriend (before I knew him). Very sweet gal but when she opened her mouth, you would have sworn “Courtney Stodden,” had entered the room.

What is with that “little girl voice?” Especially when your 38.

Every time I hear a grown woman who has that “voice,” I think of driving around back in the day, listening to “Love Lines,” & Dr. Drew going into his whole, “Arrested Development,” spiel. Now I won’t go as far as to say EVERY woman who still carries the vocal chords of a 4th grader has daddy issues but there is some kind of weirdness. Whether they got what they wanted from using it or I don’t know – maybe they really are challenged in the IQ department.

But what “I” need to remember is most ladies rockin’ that voice, are very very sweet & kind. So quit being a bitch Kate & tolerate that “nails on chalkboard sound,” and be nice!

– Kate

Please eat some Carbs because your breath stinks!

Everyday there’s some new fangled diet designed to help you loose weight quickly, make your bank account increase immensely & bring in the love of your life. I myself may even try all or none of these depending on my mood and hey, who doesn’t want all of the above.

But the one you’ll never catch me trying is the low-carb, no-carb, slow carb diets. Why…’cause your breath stinks. And depending the degree, everything else about you does too.

I have many a friend who have tried or are currently on some kind of restricted carb thing and I have to tell you, it’s hard to carry a conversation with them. Mostly because of the weird sour-metallic thing they got going on (aka – ketosis). Then my thoughts go to the evil. “How can your husband kiss you?” Worse are the ones when you’re standing in the latte line & your next to someone hard-core & that smell radiates out of their pores.

Believe me, I understand the need to want loose some lbs. & feel great. Especially fast & that diet does do it pretty lickedy split – but not enough for me to induce “low-carb stinkiness,”  and the ability to make my friends pass-out on site.

So to all the people who like to take things the extreme, moderation & exercise, knowing what foods no longer work with your system & putting that In & Out burger down should work.

And if that doesn’t…you can always stick your finger down your throat. But to quote Heather Chandler to Heather Duke, “Grow up Heather, bulimia is sooooo ’87.”

– Kate

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