I never thought it would happen, but alas it has. The regret of middle-age. All our bad decisions brought to the forefront. Currently I feel as if I’m going through the “stages of death,” and this is just the manifestation of the “stages of life.” Love’s you missed out on – careers or family’s that you let go by.
I’ve been having little daydreams about what I’d change if I could go back. And if given a magic wand – what year and age would you go back to & how would you do it differently? College, High School – grade school! or perhaps only 10 years ago before a bankruptcy or divorce. Would you trade in your high-speed internet for dial up or a rotary phone, if you could get another chance?
It’s kind of a fun game to play, as long as you don’t stay in the space of regret to long and remember you wouldn’t be the person currently had you not have gone through all your trials & tribulations. Which could be a good or bad thing (who knows – you might be a downright bastard right now!).
So for those that like to look at the past fondly, I found this online station http://www.vintage.tv/tv/watch-now. It’s a UK website so some video may not work unless you’re using a VPN, but the “watch now,” works here in the states.
So have fun. Visualized, change some decisions and see what happens. It doesn’t hurt to daydream…and you just might learn something from it.
I was going through a box of old photos & postcards looking for something today and I came across this postcard dated, March 3rd, 1998…
Bon Jour Kate,
I hope all is well in Bon Land. Paris is wonderful and I’m trying to see as much of it as possible. I’m not doing any modeling though. I can’t seem to walk through the door. I’m too scared. I’m doing this on such a whim that I never really thought it through. I’m going to London to stay with my sister and hopefully having friends around will encourage me to do it. If not I’ll be back soon.
(drawn heart) Bill
…who the “eff” is Bill?
Did I make out with you once in a drunken stupor? Did we work together? Or worse – did we actually date for a time?
I have no idea. There are clues in the above post. “Bon Land,” referring to the department store I use to work at, The Bon Marche. Work?
Something about modeling. I was a model (ha – if you could call “Mall & Hair Fashion Shows” modeling, sure – I did that). Were we in a show together? I dated a couple models but one IS French & was very happily married in 1998. And the rest? Well, let’s just say I “really,” wasn’t their type.
Wow, he must fancy himself quite dashing if he’s heading all the way to France to model & then pussy out at the end. There wasssss that one….
Nope – I got nothing.
Funny how are memory falters as we age & then near the very end, we can recite a complete lesson we learned in school, on a specific day in the 2nd grade.
…hmmm – drawn heart….for sure to not playing for my team 😉